Help Us Out

In case you hadn’t noticed, I went awhile without writing anything on this here Internet site. Here’s why: After the first couple of posts, the little lady and I realized there wasn’t a whole lot to say that wouldn’t be either totally mundane or way too personal.

But apparently people are still interested in our life. So here’s where you come in: Tell us what you want to hear about. Questions are great. And… Go!

About Paul Bowers

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19 Responses to Help Us Out

  1. Natasha Lewis says:

    As a young woman also “Married in College,” I have adored reading this site. On reading this particular post, just a few questions came to mind inititially. Having to develop our own strategies in managing these issues as they arise in mine and Scott’s new life together, I’m curious as to how the two of you are juggling these…
    – How do the two of you handle “academic time”? As in, do you study together? In the same room? Prefer similar study atmospheres – dead quiet? some tunes in the background? Or do you study separately to avoid driving one another batty – the way she highlights that book is irksome? or the click-clacking of his keyboard is maddening? πŸ˜›
    – Do you enjoy both being students together? Having spent the first year of your young married lives in school simultaneously, how do you think your life together will change when there are no more term papers or clinicals to juggle?
    – How do you prioritize/choose to make certain “long term” decisions about school or career now that two have become one? For example – the perfect internship/position in one state vs grad school in another state, etc.?
    – Have you noticed any difference in the way in which the two of you relate to friends – mutual or otherwise – compared to before marriage? If so, how? Neutral – no difference at all? Positive – deeper relationships or increased number of new married friends? Negative – harder to link up with/relate to single friends or make new friends who are single in college? How do you guys feel about the overall friendship dynamic since “taking the plunge”?

    Oh goodness. This comment box will likely cut me off here soon. I will end by syaing that I completely relate to the “totally mundane or way too personal” aspect of being a newlywed. I’ve very much enjoyed the progress of the site thus far. I’ll stop for now and see if I can’t think up anything more. πŸ™‚

    • Paul Bowers says:

      Thanks for all that, Natasha. Sorry for not replying sooner; the little lady and I have been swamped and I’ve not had much time for web-logging these past few months. These are all great ideas, and I hope to get back to you on them soon.

  2. Angela says:

    Just keep writing about life! We crazy few who make this choice like to see that we’re not alone. I must say, one interesting thing I’ve noticed is that DH and I push each other academically. I dont know if thats something yall noticed too. I mean, squeezing academics and life together is difficult especially when you have a marriage to tend to but we have some crazy drive to be excellent students.

    I dont think you have to worry about mundane. The most mundane parts of my life with my DH are often the best parts.

  3. Hannah says:

    i think this is so sweet. I totally agree with you; I could tell you were Christians just from reading your vows; that speaks volumes. I pray nothing separates what God has done in joining you. Your purpose is far better than you know…Jeremiah 29:11

  4. Sarah says:

    I just happened upon your little website-blog here, and it’s got me quite interested. I’m currently in college, and currently dating a really great young man, who’s in the same year as me. We have discussed marriage some, and feel that that’s the direction that God is pulling us. So your “married in college” experience interests me because I myself could very well end up married in college as well. We have definitely talked about that option, and I think my boyfriend would really like that to happen. In fact, I would not be surprised to receive a proposal within the next 6-8 months. I like Natasha’s ideas for questions above…very helpful! πŸ™‚

  5. Randall says:

    Getting married in college is a disaster… I’ll check back in a year or two

    • Jacob says:

      By that reaction i would guess that you are not a Chrsitian. If you realized how big God is and His power is endless then you would realize that their faithbased relationship will not waver.

      • Naiomi says:

        not to get into a theological debate, but Christians do get divorced, and some nonchristians don’t. I don’t agree with Randall that getting married in college is a disaster, I think it just depends on the individuals involved, their goals, their commitment to one another, and what they want in life. Some people do well to wait until after college, (I don’t plan on getting married, if I do I want to wait until I am in my 30s). Others get married right after graduation (I know someone who got married the day after she graduated) and some choose to get married while in college. I think that if the people love and value each other, and are willing to learn, they will enjoy a long marriage regardless of whether they are christian, buddhist, atheist, etc or whether they are 18 or 38.

        I know plenty of christians who have gotten divorced, and although it is easy to judge them and say their faith wasn’t strong enough, or they didn’t take marriage seriously, I don’t think it’s fair to judge what other people are going through. Marriage and life is hard and complicated. I also don’t think that judging these two by saying, “oh these two got married young, they are going to get divorced” is also right. These two are on their own path in life. How their story ends up, is in part up to them. For them Christianity, and marriage while in college is the right choice for them. Which is awesome.

        In case anyone is wondering, I identify as a progressive christian.

  6. My best friend and roommate have both been dating our current boyfriends for a little over three years and have been looking into the future of college with marriage in the background of our minds. While searching for statistics and financial aid/scholarships for married students we happened upon your blog while we were….doing homework. We both appreciate the Christian values that we have in common with ya’lls relationship. Is there any advice you would be willing to give for us considering marriage in the next two years or so?

  7. Liza says:

    Hi, my boyfriend and I are planning on getting married straight out of high school and then attending the same college together whilst living together. Since you’ve been through this, I just had a few questions. (1) How do you manage financially? I mean, it is clear for my boyfriend and I that our parents will not pay for our college education and we will have to get by somehow by ourselves. So how do you manage? What kinds of jobs should we look for? How should we manage our finances? How did *you* do it? (2) What were the biggest challenges of being married AND sticking to your education? How do you manage everything? The part-time job, the school, and the responsibilities that come with marriage? How do you divide your time? Thanks, your responses will be GREATLY appreciated as my boyfriend and I are quite nervous about just how we plan to get through this. Thanks πŸ™‚

  8. Sarah says:

    I kind of stumbled on this website when I googled “getting married in college” and I am so glad I did! I’m 20 years old, in college (my sophomore year), and dating the man of my dreams! We have been dating for almost 2 years and I need to point out that I am 3 years older. Our plan is to get married sometime after he graduates from high school (next school year). God is so great and your story is very uplifting. Thank you for the encouragement! It is possible to get married young and make it last when you have God on your side πŸ™‚

  9. Lucas says:

    Real pros and cons.. Anyway, @ Sarah glad to hear that you’re so in-love but just take it easy…. πŸ˜‰

  10. Rebecca says:

    My fiance and I are considering getting married before I finish school, and we would love to see your answers to Natasha’s questions. Also, I would love to see a list of things you wish you had known before getting married. πŸ™‚

  11. Katelyn says:

    My boyfriend and I are thinking of getting married the summer before my senior year (2014). He is a year behind me in school (but he is 2 years older than me age wise), so he will have 2 years left of school when we get married. I loved finding your blog cause I can relate to all of your posts so far, and the fact that you guys are also Christians made me really excited to read your insights. Right now the part we are struggling with is how to financially make it. With the costs of apartments and living, how do you work and go to school full time? Like what kinds of jobs do you get while in school? My parents will be helping us for my senior year (only paying what they normally would have paid to help me get through school), but even with that I am worried about if we could make it financially. What are some of your tips of how to set up a budget and how much to set aside for everything? Thanks!

  12. Michael says:

    I stumbled across your website while looking for advice on marriage in college. My girlfriend and I are Christians as well, and I was glad to find another couple with the same values starting out early in life. We’ve discussed about marriage and both want the commitment. The biggest question I would have for you is this: How did your parents react to the idea of marriage? I feel that I should ask my girlfriend’s parents for her hand in marriage. From what I can tell her father would be fine with us being married, her mother on the other hand would probably protest it. She feels that she and her husband married too early and doesn’t want the same to happen to her little girl. I’m happy that she cares for her and wants what’s best. I want the best for her too, and I don’t feel like we would be losing out on anything by being married. Any advice you could give for us on how to get support from our parents would be greatly appreciated. I wish you the best of luck in life together! Thanks for posting about your marriage!

  13. Destiny says:

    I know it’s been a long time since you have posted anything but it would be great to get an update on how things are going. Something I was wondering about is how you both talked to your patents about getting married young because this is something I’m dreading.

  14. Justin says:

    I’m really enjoying your blog! Thanks for writing!
    Could you write about your friendships outside of your marriage? I’ve heard from a lot of married couples that this can be a major part of a healthy marriage? Also, do you think the undergrad environment is a good place to form those types of friendships?
    Thanks a lot!

  15. Michelle says:

    I want to add on to what Liza, Michael, and Destiny commented: What did your parents and other close family members think about you getting married in college? Did you have to do any convincing? How did all of that work out?
    My boyfriend and I have also been wondering about how to budget things as college is crazy expensive. How do you manage financially?

  16. Frankie says:

    wow it’s been two years since the last reply to this, and over five since your last blog. I would so love to know what you guys are up to now-work, kids? how having a christian faith affects the relationship you have with each other. I’m 17, a christian, and have been dating the most wonderful person for over a year and a half. We both know we want to get married, and have talked about it often, and your blog has helped me get a better understanding of the practical side of marrying while still studying, so thank you for that. I would love to hear more of your story.

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